29th october

hmmmmmmmm.......so many thngs...soooooooooooooooo little tym....so lemme jus put up d main pointerz....
i>m gonna kick sum1 real hard...
ii>ballori...cum on...rply 2 mah scraps yaar....
iii>sb....whr r u....hvta snd u an invitation...mah sis' marriage cumin up buddy..
iv>bussy wid studies...
dts it...bye..

28TH OCTOBER

Hullo...wassup,lemon tree....found ne lady-blog on the roll??....SHE SUITABLE 4U???OH....cumon...hey guys jus jokin.....hd a blast 2dy....hd a small party at home.....wid all mah dad's frns...deir daughters n sons....amng all.....found only1 gud lukin grl...hd loads offfffffffffff fun...burnt money...sorry....crackers till 3in d morn....n lapped it up wid a bonfire....kno wat bro n a few of his frnds came home drunk....i dnt lyk it wen he drinks...i tld him so-o-oooo--ooo many tyms not to drnk...but he jus wnt listen...SANJ....missin ya....LITTLE PRINCESS....u kno wat...i dont get ngry on u jus coz u tlk of "HIM" n stuff...but coz i dnt wnt mah "LOVE" to be dis-respected.....dts d reason...felin sleeeeeeeeeepy....gud nyt lemon tree...n yup....cmae across dis grl "BALLORI"....dunno d meanin of d name...hvta kno it....hvta....

25th OCTOBER

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm………..wnt b able 2 use mah lappie for a few days now…lets see…hvta wryt mah blog…realized sumthng in lyf…dis lyf is 22222222222 short… really tooooooo short 22222222222hate……wats d use 2 hate sum1……wat do u get by hating sumbdy….nthng…..literally nthng…..it hurts a lot wen sum1 leaves u…but wat hurts u more is d fact dat u still hate him…thr r so mny thngs goin on in mah head ryt now….tell me why do I still fear d word LOVE….why????why cnt I b lyk oders….y dnt I flirt arnd???????there’s no1 2 stop me…..no 1 to tell me….no one at all…no one to ask me whats in mah heart…no one to tell me not to luk up at girls…no1 2 tell me tht I am their own…I dunno….am I weak….no I know I am not…I kno I am strong…simply coz of d fact dt I did not evr stop her frm goin so-o-o-o-o far away frm me…but does dt mean dt I dnt LOVE her….no…I know I love her…I also know she will never come bck…I know she is gone…n wid her is gone all the things I ntd frm lyf…all the small wishes..all da dreams….wid her is gone all mah stupidity…wid her is gone C.U.T.E,S.T.U.P.I.D…n all da many thngs….wid her is gone d Love Books…wid her is gone sumone whom I cud luk upto…cz of whom I had 2 live n die…wid her is gone evrythng…wid her is gone feelings…warmth…et all…why….why… I still search for d answer….I still cower in d corner wen mah mom criticizes me for evrythng I do.. for evrythng I do…but I dnt care…I dnt care nemre…I dnt thnk....sry…I dint wnt to brng dis part of mah lyf…sum1 tld me dt I I sud not du this…n she was ryt…evr1 has got their own share of their problems…me u n evry1 else…wats da use of whining lyk dogs 2 this impassionato world…wat will I get by writing this…nthing….n neither will u get nethng by reading this…but stl…unlyk u all ppl I dnt hv ne1 to speak mah mnd out…SANJ,POU,dt little kid of clsVII I teach…..none….i cnt trust dem…or is it lyk…I dnt wnt 2 trust them….but the thng is dt I m stll yet to cum across…. no…rather…I dnt wnt to cum across them….

24th OCTOBER

Hia buds….wazzup….bored many a ppl wid dis vry word….haha….cumon man laugh…..its good…u kno…lyk many a ppl laugh at me….sumtyms jus lyk dat….u kno why dey…well,how will u kno unless I tell u….sumtyms I wish I cud tell sum1 how much I need tht person…but who cares…u do….cum on…I kno u dt evn giv a damn…cum on man…probably u dnt evn kno me…sumthng hpnd quite a few days ago…4gt 2 tell ya Lemon Tree…I got in tuch wid dis grl on orkut…she was frm Loreto House…made a bit weak at my knees…well aftr all all the stuff dt hpnd wid LH…but u know at she is not lyk many a grls outta thr…she…well…at least seemed different…well at least by her profile…Went by da name of "^@//0#!"…dunno wat does dt mean..by da way….dnt try to decode it…u cnt….n it was primarily done to protect her Privacy…stll…I wont b surprised if sum clever ass does break it…forgv da profanity..eithr way I dnt care whthr u do…stll…had a bad dream 2dy aftrnun…was abt an unknown person…her face was not familiar….not familiar at all..but it felt lyk sein a lyf in a nutshell...d dream was..lyk….she died…lyk…aftr goin thru many thngs….a lyf frought wid child abuse,lost love,rape,sex-worker, homo-sexuality..wid the shanty-girls…doin the same thng cld child-abuse wch she was treated to wen she was a kid…n thn she lyk…jus died…
Dunno y…but woke up cryin aftr sein d dream…no…I am not afraid of taking a beating…but wat I am afraid is wat if….tht person is sum1 close 2 me….i dunno whether she cares if I care for her or not…no…I don’t wnt ur pity….i can do widout dt…I am strng….not only on d surface…but yes all d way thru…yes….i hv shrd evrythng wid u DG…n evn now…after evrythng….stll now….thr is sumthng….of mine wch is wid u….sory…it is your own…My HEART…. My LITTLE PRINCESS….

23rd OCTOBER

23rd OCTOBER
4:45am on 24th October::No…was not awake all nyt…quite d oder way round…woke up damn early…wat did u thnk…I only stay up late….nah….i can wake up early 2222222…..will publish this sumtym 2mrw…hd a chat wid DG…tlkd wid POU ystrdy nyt…tlkd wid hr sissy 2….got an imp dt she was lyk…..beautiful….well….she said her frnds compare her wid Deepika Padukone…ummmm….. who's she?????i dnt kno her…prbly sum1 who lyk….u kno scares the kids out….hahaha….jus jokin….in a good mood 2dy….will go out now….do sum Parkour…den practice sum bboyin steps…..listenin 2 morning raga ryt now….quite refreshin..ANY went home ystrdy…took da Darjeeling mail ystrdy….bye…ciao later….

21ST OCTOBER

21ST OCTOBER
Wnt 2 mah native place…it feels so humbling evrytym I go thr….sumtyms evn went hrs nothing…sumtyms…u c a light at the end of the tunnel shine…thru d dark tyms evn wen no1's listenin…evn wen I walk arnd in the same haze n get caught up in d same days…sumtyms I jus keep mah mouth shut n try to fynd out the pain thts lurkin sumwhr insyd me…but no…I dnt wnt ne1 2 c…or try 2 guess y tht pains lurkin…if u guess its abt DG…ur r wrng buddy…thrs alwys more thn meet the eye…sumtyms…I try 2 bliv the thngs I cnt see…sumtyms…u try 2 hyd the pain deep insyd….n try 2 4gt it by hating evry1 in ur vicinity…no I wont tell u tht I tld u so….wen thr cums a point in ur lyf wen u realize ths…but dnt 4 gt…tht the hrdest part of holding on is letting it go….yes…I will yell it out…I will yell it till I get sumthng new 2 say…yes..i will say wt I feel till the world goes deaf…till thrs no word left unsaid…n thres no mourning sound….no death knell…did you know…all of u ppl…tht thr will cum a tym wen a kid lyk me wud brk everything in d vicinity…I know how u feel sumtyms…wid all d pain deep insyd…sumtyms evn sein the face of sum1 u love freaks u out…sumtyms wen ur lawyer's face freaks u out…jus tryin 2 escpe frm the present kills u out…wat will u do nw wen u dnt hv newhr 2 run…wen u jus cn keep ur mouth shut n listen 2 wat ppl say….u know wat the person who teaches u to be strong in the surface n all d way thru….the person who teaches u 2 bliv in urslf ultimately becomes the gr8st weakness in ur lyf…yes tht is the gr8st trth….

TJDOEJIDEJKLSEJIFKOJIJJIGKIT