10TH November

3:30am(styin 2dy at a Anish’s place in Park Circus)--Hmmmmmmmm………………….. sumtyms wen I look up…..high up in the sky….a sky full of the rust of my love….tryin to realize all the mistakes of my life…as I move my hands over the keyboard I try to capture my thoughts and hold it……hold them all in my hand…many things hapnd ystrdy…first Sanj…then stayin at Tantra till 11…but in the middle of all the music…in the middle of all the Music and Lights…the Booze…the girls falling over each other…am I lost???
It was sumtym arnd 8:15 or 8:30… me n Anish… we hd entrd SPE first at sumtym arnd 6:45… btw… Anish is gud frnd of myn… she is mre lyk… a lost piece of marble… she is cute… n lyk… nyc… a gud grl to hang out with... so… at arnd 8:30 we dcided to tk a wlk arnd… bt not bein able 2 thnk of ne plc to hv a quiet walk undr d moonlight she drove her car to the lane bsyd Julien Day Elgin Road… it was prty dark n quiet… we wr lyk talkin crap 4 a long tym… thn sdnly dunno y I felt sndin a mail 2 sum1… I swchd on my Lappie… n den realized my account was pretty low… Luckily Anish had a gprs… cnctd… n strtd to mail d two mails I had 2… suddenly I realized tht thr was sumthng abv my shoulder… I lukd up… it was Anish’s hand… she was not high… she had only doused 3 cans… I turnd towards her…she was lukin at me in a strange way…she put her hand n touched my cheek softly… n put her hand acrs my head tuchin the bck of head… the glare of the car cumin frm the opposite side pierced the darkness… I turned… I had 4 mre scraps in orkut… I opnd my scrpbk… Anish’s hnd was slowly movin ovr my neck… givin me goosebumps… but no…dey wr nt frm her hnd… A scrp… I dint undrstnd wat she said… Anish held a tuft of my hair wid her left hand… n pulled me 2wrds her… I shoved her away… I was BROKEN… she lukd at me wid questioning eyes…n den openin her pink lips… ”Am I that bad… Or is it that you have bad breath… Or u don’t know how to kiss??”… I looked at her… n takin out the Mountain Dew can I had in my backpack I came out of the car… Anish followed me…n then slowly whispered in my ear…”Is it her??”…”Is it that scrap…???”… I preferred to keep quiet…She touched my hand and told me… ”Watevr had to happn has hapnd thrs nothing u can do…but did u do nethng wrng??”…I dint know at 2 say…I 4gt abt d mail I hd wntd 2 snd to her… I opnd my blog n saw a new Comment…Anish’s head was on my shoulder…I uploaded my nxt blog… n den snt d mail I hd 2 snt to Paro…my Coll frnd…a gud stdnt… n also a gr8 human bein… n cld her up to infrm her abt it…lft sum scraps on DG n on S…. scrpbk… he had gvn me a nyc bit of gyan but I by dt tym I had dcid wat to do… I lukd at Anish…she was lyk staring at the comp screen...aftr sumtym she whispered 3 words… 3 words wch mde me feel lyk I was stl alive… ”She still loves you..”
9:45pm::We had jus entrd TANTRA…Anish’s brother was already there wid his grlfrnd…we wnt ovr to our favuryt spot n strtd easin out…Anish mvd frwd to hld my hnd…I mvd awy…amng all the fun n frolic n joy outta thr dunno y…I was feelin lyk…Void…Empty…will she evr undrstnd…I kno… no more will she opn my scrps…n mre will she read my blog…but if she evr reads it she will kno 1 thng…dat Atreya stll loves her… he stll loves her a lot… tht she stll has sum1 who is always mre dan willing to be wid her… wen evr she needs him… Anish wnt ovr to brng anodr can of beer… Her bro had a shot of tequila…whl his grl took a shot of cognac…amng all d muzik… the grls… the lights… it flt lyk sumwhr thr is sumthng missin…
10:45pm::Anish was high… way too high 2dy… lyk falin all ovr me… Her bro n I dcided 2 cl it a dy…we rchd her home at anrd 11:45pm…her prnts wr nt thr… so… lyk me styin thr was not a prob… I hd alrdy tld bck at hme tht I wnt be rtrnin hme… tld dem tht we had a func to attnd at Swabhumi…
1:30 am::WOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the view frm Anish’s balcony at nyt…u see all the dried up roads…. The flyovr crossin… n the Parkcircus Maidan on d oder syd… lyk it was gr8… dint wanna slp… was not feelin lyk… sumtyms flt lyk sein wat’s goin on in Anish’s brodr’s room… he ws thr wid his grl… n by d fct dt he drove the car prty steadily was enuf to lemme knot ht dy hd a lng nyt ahd… sudnly I flt a hnd against my waist… I turnd arnd… It was Anish… her eyes… she dint hv a drop of drunkeness in her eyes… her eyes wr lukin at me wid… LUST…. No she’s not tht kinda grl…. But… den… I dunno… it flt lyk…. I cud smell her deo… it was the Woody flavor of CK… she movd her hnd across my cheek… I cud see her close… so-very close… evn her eyelids… her lips… they were so close… NO… I said to myslf… NO… thts wat I did…
2:30am::We bth hd swchd on bth of our lappies… we wre plyin Counter Strike… she was a Magger… but I was btr stl in assault… result I lost she won… clvr grl… at arnd 2:00 she rolld ovr n aksd me a strng question… “Arc… r u a man?? Dnt u feel nethng sleepin wid a grl who was lyk on quite a high a few hours ago… “NO…cuz as far as I kno u… u wnt get high unls ur hv a martini or a vodka… and I also kno tht u wr a pretty gud actor bck in ur skul days… So… it dint tuk me long to undrstnd tht u wr jus actin… So d question of getting on a high doesn’t cum... But yes I dnt undrstnd wt du u wnt frm me????.....”… “Neither du I kno”,said Anish, “I jus dunno… but I wud ask u 1 thng… Why dnt u wnt to evn lemme kiss u… after all its jus a kiss…”…… I lukd at her… my eyes n brain scavenging my grounds to let her kno the ryt answer… “Well… I dint feel lyk kissin anoder grl unless thts my wyf… I kno Anish its silly but its true… I dnt wnt to b hrtbrkn again in ne wy…”
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm………. Tht was a lng stry ryt…. N yes its tru not anoder figment of imagination… n also d fct dt I dint evn lay a fingr on Anish…. N yup…. 2dy is Sid’s b’dy… he’s in Manipal… n the title of the longest blog…well this one sud get it… one of the things… one of the experiences of my life whose meaning I will never find…